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About Deviant KC ToledoFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Statistics 79 Deviations 868 Comments 9,100 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

We did by embersfromashes We did :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 3
Solace Lost
I dwell within the cold anguished shadows of your absence
Curled up in the corner of my heart that was your place
Kindred creature, rescuer, best friend,
Familiar with my every mood constantly giving comfort
I needed only to look down into that loving aqua gaze
And pain and loneliness receded
I knew your deepest fear yet failed you when dire was the need for protection
There can be no lashing out, no angry accusations
I alone own the burden of this blame
If only I'd allowed the guidance of your heart
As often as you followed mine
You would still be here with me
Haunted by the memory of you crying out in agony and fright
I can not forgive myself this betrayal
Even though I know you would
I broke my promise, left your fate to strangers in an unfamiliar place
Sorrow persists, heavy, overwhelming
Solace evades me, as it should
I allowed it's source to die.
:iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 0
Pals by embersfromashes Pals :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 0 Hercules Onca by embersfromashes Hercules Onca :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 0 Dart Up Close by embersfromashes Dart Up Close :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 4 2
Shadow Animal
Cast out
Relegated to dim shadows in uncertain corners
Invisible to those that draw the strings,
So easily minimized and unimportant
profoundly used
Now useless
Never fit in anyway
Never did
I now become what they've wanted for so long,
A barely present shadow animal,
No harm no foul but not good enough
I just disappear
At least they're finally
Being painfully honest
Open season on shadow animals
Shoot me
:iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 0
You stared at me with chill blue eyes,
Said you knew of all my lies,
That you can't believe a word I ever say,
I wanted to shout "that's not true!"
I only wanted time with you,
And couldn't get it any other way
I loved you dad that's not a lie,
And always hoped that you would try,
to say you loved me too
Before goodbye
You said that I had shamed you,
That I'd let you down,
Running fingers through your hair,
That seems more white than brown,
And I notice that your skin once smooth
Is lined and creased and gray,
If it is my life that I lead
Why should you have to pay?
I loved you each and every day
Only wish I'd heard you say
You loved me too
Before you went away
I know the pain is harsh and deep
The price I paid is far too steep
And trust and love are things you cannot buy
Pain and memories they fade
And so should all the errors made
Regardless of the where and when and why
I loved you dad and hold you dear
And though you are no longer here
It sometimes seems you're right here at my sid
:iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 1
There was a time i felt desirable, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, loveable, wanted.
There was a time i felt womanly, aroused by the words, touch, and feel of a man.
There was a  time when words, soft, mellow as the touch of a butterfly's wing, could soothe, comfort, and lessen any doubts, easing the blows of unpleasant reality.
There was a time i felt sure of direction, empowered to persevere in any  chosen quest.
There was a time of seeming security, comfort, a feeling of inpenetrable safety.
There was a time when mind was sharp, quick of recall, stalwart in knowledge.
There was a time of enthusiasm, enjoyment, delight in accomplishments no matter how small.
There was a time, now past, when it was possible for happiness to flourish.
There is now only time.
:iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 2 6
Betty Davis eyes and Early Times
Cluttered dirty room, No job and broke
Tired, bored, emotions flattened
Roommate sleeping, no hot water
Staying home on vice night, not making money
Soiled useless uniform laying crumpled in the corner
No more burger queen
Mounting frustrations ahead for me now  
Fleetwood Mac cheerfully advising
"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow"
As though it will be any more remarkable than today
Life is like AM radio, same format all the time,
The same tired, worn routines playing out
A seemingly endless loop of monotony
:iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 0
SnowRise by embersfromashes SnowRise :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 3 Sunrise Sentry by embersfromashes Sunrise Sentry :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 3 Nestled Chalet by embersfromashes Nestled Chalet :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 0 Valley Sunrise by embersfromashes Valley Sunrise :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 2 3 Warm WinterLake Tahoe by embersfromashes Warm WinterLake Tahoe :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 0 2 Feather Fan Ducks by embersfromashes Feather Fan Ducks :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 0 Cavernous Oblivion by embersfromashes Cavernous Oblivion :iconembersfromashes:embersfromashes 1 5


Sea Otter 36814 by hfpierson Sea Otter 36814 :iconhfpierson:hfpierson 58 15 The Kitten Kiss by leenaraven The Kitten Kiss :iconleenaraven:leenaraven 8,318 1,079 loving milk by miezbiez loving milk :iconmiezbiez:miezbiez 201 35 Coal II by CaptBogart Coal II :iconcaptbogart:CaptBogart 7 3 Jelly by thrumyeye Jelly :iconthrumyeye:thrumyeye 204 21 Defiant by PantherProwLs Defiant :iconpantherprowls:PantherProwLs 9 8 Like Paradise by thrumyeye Like Paradise :iconthrumyeye:thrumyeye 211 18 Kom Ombo by ThomasWalk Kom Ombo :iconthomaswalk:ThomasWalk 1 2 Hiver X by ThomasWalk Hiver X :iconthomaswalk:ThomasWalk 4 3 You look tasty by Arwen91 You look tasty :iconarwen91:Arwen91 37 9 They're just playing by Arwen91 They're just playing :iconarwen91:Arwen91 25 15 El Capitan 2539 by hfpierson El Capitan 2539 :iconhfpierson:hfpierson 55 22 Yosemite Park I by helyophos Yosemite Park I :iconhelyophos:helyophos 2 4 The Grreeat Clouded Leopard by moggies The Grreeat Clouded Leopard :iconmoggies:moggies 531 94 cheetah206 by redbeard31 cheetah206 :iconredbeard31:redbeard31 18 4



KC Toledo
United States
Current Residence: the only one I could afford to buy in this unaffordable state.
Favourite genre of music: Hard Rock, Metal, Industrial, Big Bands
Favourite photographer: Ansel Adams
Favourite style of art: Fantasy ala Heavy Metal, nature and architectural photog.
Operating System: XP Pro, 98SE, DOS 6.2, learnin deb/gnu, BSD, and Suse
MP3 player of choice: WinAmp It really whips the Llamas ass!
Shell of choice: Pasta
Wallpaper of choice: Skysong2 (Digital Blasphemy)
Skin of choice: Deer skin
Favourite cartoon character: Spawn
Personal Quote: If you've stopped learning you've probably died.

Changes and Deviations

Tue Aug 18, 2009, 6:27 AM
  • Listening to: traffic
  • Reading: Darkest Fears
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: leftover wedding cake
  • Drinking: coffee
Back again

Well it's been a while since I updated here. Life is ever changing and remaining the same concurrently.

My SO (PantherProwLs on here)and I just got married last Friday on my birthday, after nearly 8 years together we figured the relationship truly was a keeper. He is very good about remembering my birthday so this will make it a no brainer for him to remember our anniversary.

I still have a job, still spending most of my free time during the week getting to and from said job, so haven't had much time for things I once did. Having a job is a *good* thing these days though so I don't mind the commute as much as I otherwise would.

I finally have managed to take some photos of deviation quality, now just need to clean them up a bit and upload them. Hope to be uploading deviations in the near future but I tire very easily these days and have to kind of prioritize how my energy is spent so might be a week or so.

There isn't really much else going on right now, mostly SSDD. Hugs for all of my friends here, have been missing some of you fiercely!

Learning ~Apophysis now and it is much fun! Kind of like an etch a sketch, spirograph, and lite bright all put together in a computer program.



Add a Comment:
ThomasWalk Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Thank you for the two :+fav:

Arwen91 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008   Photographer
Thank you very much for the :+fav:s! :)
bittykitty Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for stopping by =^-^=

BK :kitty:
helyophos Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008
thanks for the fav! :hug:

happy to know you liked one of my pictures :)
KittyCat07 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2008
Thank you for the warm welcome!
embersfromashes Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2008
You're most welcome! Hope you enjoy your stay here! :)
imute Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2008
thanks a lot for the :+fav: on sad eyes :)
embersfromashes Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2008
Very welcome. What a bittersweet photo that is. Well done!
Miriel3 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2008
thanks :bow:
SChildersPhotography Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the watch! :hug:
Add a Comment: